What Could Go Wrong?

This post is a bit of a cautionary tale, or actually cautionary tales, putting together some of my worst experiences, even a couple of scary ones (you have been warned!). I hope they help you avoid my mistakes, though sometimes it can seem impossible. Being cautious even when having fun is important. Trust your instincts and don't be desperate to have fun in a potentially risky situation.

My first ever hookup with a stranger was when I was 20, fresh out of the closet. I mentioned this in another post about my most embarrassing moments. I was clueless. I knew nothing about bottoming and I didn't know any better than letting the guy who was probably a decade older than me fuck me with hand lotion instead of lube. It burned like hell and the condom broke within seconds. I was freaked out of my mind, as I didn't know enough about HIV, though it was well before PrEP even existed and the risks were still considerable. It was a huge embarrassment, because in my panic I immediately went to tell my brother all about it and I was terrified for the next three months, until I could get results (based on the available testing at that time, a couple of decades ago). So I suppose my lesson is that it's good to educate yourself and that in the beginning you hook up with people you can trust, or build trust with, ideally (maybe go out for a drink first).

Another experience that could have ended way worse was a house slave situation which I arranged with someone that lived in the middle of nowhere, up in the mountains in the south of France. It took quite a trek to reach him—taking the train for an hour from the big city and then a bus for another 40 minutes. I was carrying a large suitcase and I arrived at this really small town after sunset—already not a good idea. He picked me up in his small car that seemed to be from the previous century and I was a little uneasy with the ride in the spiraling narrow roads through the hills, away from the small town. When we arrived at his place, a cabin in the woods, for real, I had to carry my suitcase up the muddy slippery hill as it had been drizzling and the road did not reach his cabin. He was literally living off the grid, but more about that in a moment.